Different Options
by LMG
Summary: It was either him or me. Dark or Light. Dead or Alive. He didn't seem to have much choice though he prayed for a different option with every fiber of his being.


Thank you to ALL my readers and reviewers.

Thank you to my BETA'S Merlin and GoldenSunnyGrl.

Disclaimer: NOT MINE IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.

ENJOY!

**DIFFERENT OPTIONS**

The line hadn't been long tonight by the time he had gotten there and he was grateful for that. He could feel the pounding music even through the walls of the old warehouse. He hadn't been here in a while, a month at least, and he was looking forward to a night of pure mindless activity where he didn't have to think about anything, though he knew he would.

He stepped into the damp, dark, warehouse and took a deep breath. Ah, anonymity. It was great. He could just be another teenager here. Here, he was a nobody.

The flashing lights drew his attention to the floor before him and he smiled, lighting up his usually solemn face. The press of bodies around him didn't bother him here like it did other places he went because _here_, they didn't care who he was. He settled into a round pod and slipped his skates on as he watched the bodies circle the floor. He finished tying his skates as a new song came on and he slipped around a group of teens close to his age and flew onto the oval tarnished floor. He felt his body slip into the movements needed and he let his mind free to think about things he had been putting off for far too long.

He knew both sides were playing him. One side wanted him dead and one wanted complete control, truthfully, he didn't see a difference in either side right now. Both wanted him. Both said they needed him. Both lied to him. If there were another side he would gladly pick it, he thought wryly.

But there wasn't. It was either him or me. Dark or Light. Dead or Alive. He didn't seem to have much choice though he prayed for a different option with every fiber of his being.

The sudden brightness startled him and he glanced to his watch to see he had been blindly skating for over an hour. And he hadn't decided anything. With a sigh he stepped from the oval floor onto the carpet. Deciding he was thirsty he headed over to the concession stand. He ignored the appreciative looks from the girls sitting at the tables there and concentrated on what he wanted to drink and if he was hungry, not that he had been eating lately, but after the physical exertion of the last hour his stomach was making its presence known.

Reaching into the back pocket of his dark tan cargo pants he missed the sigh from behind him as his action showed off his upper body physique. Quidditch was okay for exercise but it took more than hanging onto a broom to have the muscles he had. He had worked at it, wanting to be in top physical condition for anything that was thrown at him. Right now, he was on a break. An unscheduled, if-Moody-found-him-he-was-in-a-whole-heap-a-hurt break, but one he had needed.

"Hey JP, where you been?" Came the cheery voice of the blonde behind the counter.

"About, Lindsey. Can I have a diet coke?" Harry replied calmly as he handed her his money. She eyed him once before turning and serving up his drink. Before he could turn away she grabbed his hand and leaned across the counter whispered softly to him, "I have a break in ten."

Harry nodded and then stepped away. He wasn't interested in what she had to offer, not anymore. He found a secluded corner that was relatively empty and sat down to quench his thirst. He sighed again as he leaned his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the reason he was here, to think.

Trying not to think seemed to be the most difficult of tasks for him tonight. All he had done since he had gotten here was think. He knew he had to think about his next step but he really, really didn't want too. He knew what he wanted to do but he also knew that no way in hell would his world let him do it.

Running sounded good right about now. Running and never looking back.

"JP?"

Harry opened his eyes and saw Lindsey approaching him with the same expectant look she had had earlier. Damn! What was he supposed to do now?

"Hey, Lins." Harry replied.

She crossed her arms and watched him for a minute before she sat close next to him. "Spill."

Harry snorted. God he really hated her! "Nothing to tell." He said coldly.

"Please, JP, don't insult my intelligence." She said with a haughty eyebrow raise.

Harry growled but it was covered up by the music blasting once again. "Same shit, different month, no options."

"Your uncle again?" She questioned calmly completely ignoring Harry's shut up look.

"No." Was his short reply.

Silence settled over the two friends and Harry sighed again. He picked a stray string off his tight black t-shirt as he attempted to avoid her knowing eyes. He had known Lindsey Lang for five years now and she got more annoying every time he came here. They had had a small fling two summers ago but he had ended it when he had come back last year. He had never told her why but he suspected she knew.

"What did you mean no options?" Damn! He had forgotten she was just as smart as Hermione.

"Exactly what it sounds like Lins. Look, I didn't come here to talk. I just want to skate."

"Seems to me if all you wanted to do was skate, you'd be skating."

"Bitch."

"Thank you."

Harry laughed but the humor never reached his eyes.

"You've changed JP." She said quietly as she watched the skaters on the floor.

"I know." He agreed. He had been a happy go lucky kid five years ago when he had first started coming here during the summer months away from Hogwarts. Lins was four years older than he was and her uncle owned the place. She and Harry had struck up a friendship the first night he had come here. He had told her everything, well, almost everything, two years ago when they had tried to make something more out of their friendship. Needless to say she was shocked and had been scared for a little while but soon came to accept him for who he was. She didn't know about Voldemort. And he wasn't ever going to tell her.

"I've got to get back. Anytime." She said as she leaned to give him a kiss on the forehead. Harry forced himself not to flinch away from her touch as he nodded to her leaving.

"Anytime." He replied as he finished his drink. He threw the cup away and slid out onto the floor. He let the hard pounding music take over his thoughts and for a while all he thought about was the music and the movements his body was making.

About an hour later he felt a tingling at the nape of his neck and he tried to discreetly search those around him. Someone here was a witch or wizard. He had made sure that they couldn't follow him. He had taken off everything that they had ever given him as a present. He had performed discovery and reveling charms on himself and found nothing. He had even gone so far as too buy new clothes before coming here. How the bloody hell had they found him?

Seeing no one around him that looked suspicious Harry decided to leave the floor. Besides, he really needed a smoke. Making his way over to the concession stand he nodded his head to Lins and then pointedly glanced to the outside door. She nodded back and he skated over to the door and let himself out. He leaned against the wall feeling it thud from the music inside and sighing took out his pack of smokes and lit one. With a long draw and another sigh he settled back to enjoy it.

Running was starting to sound better and better. And he would do it but for the things he would miss, Hermione and Ron, Ginny and the rest of the Weasley's, some various friends and Dobby. But the one reason that he wouldn't run was the one reason he should. And thus his quandary.

He had known when they had started their illicit affair that it was a possibility that it would kill one of them. He had just always assumed it would be him. His lover wasn't dead, but they were in the infirmary very, very injured.

How they had been found out he hadn't known but he had found out quickly and had taken quiet care of the situation. She would never again hurt anyone. Harry had not felt one qualm about what he had done to her. She was still alive and she needed to count her blessings for that. He had wanted to kill her but her incessant pleading had stopped his hand, that and the fact that he didn't think his lover would want him to kill her, deserving of it or not.

He finished his smoke and was lighting another when the door opened and Lins stuck her head out. She didn't say anything just handed out a cup full of diet coke and quietly closed the door. She was just downright irritating; maybe he should kill her. He snickered at that and downed the coke, finished his smoke, and stepped back inside. Giving her a glare he made his way to the restroom on the other side of the rink. He didn't feel the magical presence any longer but that didn't mean they weren't here.

He ignored the other males in the bathroom, after a quick magical survey of them, and finished quickly. He slid out onto the floor and tried to lose himself in the music once again but the fact that he had detected a magical presence here, in a muggle skating ring, was keeping him on guard. Damn it! How had they found him?

The announcer called for a couple skate and he made his way over to a corner. With a sharp glare and an illegal use of Legilimens ability, he soon had the corner to himself. He settled his back against the wall and surveyed the room trying to find whomever it was stalking him.

He mentally and physically cringed when the first song came on. He swallowed the lump in his throat as the picture of his lover overtook the skating rink he was in. Each encounter, each touch, each breathless moan and plea played over and over in his mind as he sat there and listened to the song that had come to mean what he felt about the one he loved.

Restless tonight  
Cause I wasted the light  
Between both these times  
I drew a really thin line  
_It's nothing I planned  
And not that I can  
But you should be mine  
Across that line_

He was restless. He had been restless for a while and the attack just solidified in his mind the danger he was putting others in just by being alive. He wanted, more than anything, to claim him to all and sundry. Except he couldn't. There was nothing that he could do to make it easier for them. Not a damn thing.

__

If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
_Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something_

What did he have to trade? To give up? He didn't have anything in the first place, except his life, he had nothing else. So what if he was The Boy Who Lived? He didn't give a rat's arse about that so why does everyone else? He never understood that. And he was pretty sure he never would.

__

I promise I might  
Not walk on by  
Maybe next time  
But not this time

He didn't want to walk away. Frankly, he wanted to run. Run and never look back. Why should he? To see his friends and loved ones die? Who in their right mind wanted to do that? For the last six years of his life he had done what others had told him to do. Now, he wanted to do what he wanted to do. He just...didn't know what that was.__

Even though I know  
I don't want to know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds

Oh, who the bloody hell was he kidding? He knew EXACTLY what he wanted. He just didn't know how to go about it. He wanted to get married and have children. He wanted to spend the rest of his life never thinking about fear or hatred or death. He wanted his lover. And he couldn't have him. That's why he had run tonight. He just couldn't deal with everything anymore. He had wanted a night to be by himself and to think. Just think. Even if it was about things he couldn't change.

If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
_Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something_

He knew, deep in his soul, that he would give everything up for the chance to be with the one who meant so much to him. He would die for him. Did that mean he had to trade his life to get that thing he wanted the most?Andwhat's the sense in that? Dieing wouldn't get him the one thing he wanted the most. It would get him dead. That's it.

__

Even though I know  
I don't want to know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds

He hated everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Damn it! It's a wonder he hadn't killed himself long before this! A flash of angry blue eyes piercing his soul made him rethink his last thought. He didn't want to die.

If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
_Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something_

Wouldn't that be something? Having everything he had ever dreamed of in his life would be greater than something. It would be heaven. And Harry knew nothing in his life would ever go his way. Nothing had up to this point and he had no way to believe that things would change in his favor. He had no options left. If he went back, everyone would know and he didn't want to put his lover through the hurt he would go through being associated with The Boy Who Lived. It was hell. And he deserved better.

Gritting his teeth to help him reign in his fear, he searched the rink for the magical signature of before. He saw them before they had noticed that he knew that they were there. He should have known it would be them. He crossed his arms and glared a good impression of a death glare as his two best friends skated up. He forced himself not to grin as Ron smashed into the wall, clearly he didn't know that those nubs on the ends of his skates were for stopping.

He said nothing as Ron righted himself. He continued to glare at the both of them.

"This shit is dangerous." Ron huffed as he finally managed to sit himself next to Harry.

Harry grunted but just continued to glare.

"Harry..." Hermione said softly as she sat on the other side of him.

"How did you find me?" He said coldly, cutting off whatever platitude she was about to spout.

"Tracking charm." She answered truthfully since she knew that he was tuning into her thoughts and would know if she lied.

"But...damn it I even bought new clothes! There couldn't be a tracking charm on me." Harry exclaimed.

"New clothes mate, not new glasses." Ron said sympathetically.

"Bloody hell." Harry snarled as he slumped even further into the seat.

"He was worried about you." Hermione said carefully.

"I don't care. It's over Herm." He tried to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes. The sight of his lover in that hospital bed had broken him.

"Over?" Ron asked, "are you leaving the poncy git?"

Harry turned to glare at him before saying emotionlessly, "yes, happy now?"

Hermione tried to get Ron to stop speaking but it was a futile attempt. "Well, yeah, of course I am." Neither missed the sarcasm in the red head's voice. "What kind of friend do you take me for?"

Harry sighed, "Ron..."

"No, Harry, for once listen to me. I don't like him. He doesn't like me. But I'm not the one that has to be with him. You do. Besides, you're just not my type."

Harry and Hermione's mouths dropped at that. Harry couldn't help the snort of laughter that bubbled up and came out followed closely by the tears that he finally let fall from his eyes.

"It's over Ron." Harry said as he tried to control his tears.

"Why?" Hermione asked as she wrapped him in a hug.

"I can't let him get hurt again Herm. Not because of me." Harry said sadly as he remember what his lover had looked like lying in that bed all beat up and bruised. Luckily, they had had a chance to clean him up a bit before he had gotten there or the sight of all the blood that had been covering his pale thin body would have sent the Gryffindor into even more of a rage he had been in. He had stormed from the infirmary before anyone had had a chance to say a word to him. Seconds after exacting his revenge he had left Hogwarts, determined to never set foot in that place again.

Ron snorted, "because of you or for you Harry?"

"What?" Harry's head snapped up to look at Ron quizzically.

"He wasn't attacked because of you Harry." Ron said simply.

Harry turned to face Hermione and she nodded in agreement to Ron's statement. "But..."

"Pansy attacked him because he broke their marriage contract." Hermione explained as she watched the disbelief dawn on her friend's face.

"He did what?" Harry said softly, not believing what he was hearing.

Ron wrapped an arm around Harry and between his two friends he was well and truly stuck. "Yup, Ferret King told her in front of the whole school. Said he wouldn't marry her even if she were the last pureblood on earth. Should have seen her face mate, it was bloody awesome."

"No....no no no" Harry muttered. He couldn't believe he had done that. Snippets of their last argument flew through his mind and Harry flinched at the accusations he had flung.

****

----------FLASHBACK----------

__

"Just who the hell do you think you are, Potter?" Draco snarled at him.

Harry didn't know how the conversation had gone from slightly uncomfortable to downright confrontational.

"What do you mean?" Harry said softly, trying desperately to understand what it was he had said to set his normally cool and calm lover off. They had been talking quietly about what they would be doing after the war and Harry had innocently asked of Draco would move in with him.

"You know I can't move in with you. I have to stay at the Manor. I can come see you on the weekends after the hoopla of the wedding is over." Draco snapped as his silver eyes flashed in anger at the confused boy now sitting stiffly beside him.

"Wedding?" Harry gulped out, "what wedding?" But he knew the answer to his question even before Draco opened his mouth. His lover was going to get married, to someone besides him.

"You know what," Harry spoke calmly and icily, "don't answer that."

"Potter..." Draco sneered. It was clear that he was also trying to hold in his emotions and had reverted back to his old Malfoy ways to save himself the hurt.

"I said don't." Harry said coldly his face once again a mask hiding his deepest emotions. A mask the silver haired boy beside him had taken and splintered to pieces months ago. A mask that same boy was now helping to put back on. Harry had known, he had always known, that this was going to happen sooner or later. They had to marry to preserve their line. Harry had struggled with it since the first time Hermione had brought it up. He had vowed he would not do it. He only wished that they had talked about it before now. Before it had gotten so close to decision making time.

__

He wanted to marry one person and one person only. The fact that that one person was going to marry someone else had been pushed out of his mind. Until now.

"I-I need to go." He said as he jumped up from the couch in Draco's Head Boy room.

"Harry wait." Draco said softly. He didn't want him to leave without talking this out. He knew that they had never talked about it so he had just assumed that Harry was okay with it. He was obviously very wrong. He wasn't about to lose Harry over some stupid misunderstanding that they could work out if they would only talk to each other. They had never before had any problem talking things out but this time it seemed that Harry didn't want to talk. He wanted to run, something the blonde was not about to let happen.

"I can't." Harry grunted before he strode to the door.

"I won't do it." Draco's soft melodious voice stopped him before he could open the door. Harry stood there, shaking, hand on the doorknob as he let Draco's sad voice flow over him. "I don't care about it anymore. Please,"

"We knew this would come some day Draco." Harry said as he hung his head in defeat. "I knew but I couldn't pass up having you, even if for a little while. I love you Draco Malfoy with everything that I am. But we do what we must."

__

"Merlin Harry! I'm sorry okay. You just threw me off. I don't want to marry Pansy." Draco pleaded. Harry heard him get up from the couch and walk towards him. Harry knew the only way to end both of their pain and with a silent prayer to his heart for forgiveness, he turned to face his lover.

"You will marry Pansy." Harry said with as much coldness as he could force into his voice. He felt his heart break when Draco stopped and paled. Harry saw the tears start to flow down his pale cheeks and he could stand there no longer. If he didn't leave now, he never would have the strength.

__

"I will not." Draco snarled.

"Goodbye Draco." Harry said as he swung back around and ripped the door open. He was gone before the other boy could even move. As he turned the corner he heard Draco cry out 'NO!' and footsteps running after him. Harry ran, tears clouding his vision, trying to get as far away from the pain as he could.

****

----------END FLASHBACK----------

"His father will kill him. He's not safe there." Harry said hurriedly as he looked to both of his friends.

"He's been moved. He's safe Harry." Hermione tried to calm him down.

"Dumbledore..." Harry snapped but was interrupted by his always-cheerful best friend.

"Doesn't know either. Come on Harry, we're better than that." Ron chided him.

"I-" Harry stumbled on what to say. "Why? Why did he do that?"

"Harry," Hermione said gently, "we all know that you love each other. We also all know how you are. You pushed the fact that you each would have to marry to preserve your lines out of your head and never talked to him about it."

"Yeah mate, right barmy of you." Ron said with a shrug. Hermione sent him a scathing look before she took Harry's hand in hers.

"I didn't **want** to think about it guys. Tell me how you would feel in my position? Tell me Ron, what would you feel if Hermione had to marry someone else just because it would produce a pureblood child?"

"Like hell." Ron's statement was met by silence.

"I know we need more magical children Hermione. But I just...I don't share very well." Harry ended lamely. He had never had anything that really belonged to him. And he felt that the person you were in a relationship with, i.e. in love with, should be with no one else.

"I understand Harry."

"No you don't Herm. You and Ron can never understand because you two **_can_** get married and you **_can_** have kids together. We can't." Harry pointed out sharply. He didn't hate his friends because of that fact but he couldn't stop the jealousy from rising either.

"Hell, who says you two can't still have kids?" Ron asked as he watched a group of boys their age flirt with another group of girls.

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. "Right Ron. Out of wedlock children are so accepted in wizard society."

"Not what I meant mate." Ron said with a grin. "Hermione says that there are other ways to have children, albeit muggle ways, but if you guys did that then you wouldn't have to marry anyone else."

"Hermione?" Harry couldn't keep the hope from shining on his face as he turned to his best friend.

"There are other ways Harry." She confirmed with a smile.

"So...we could..."

"Yes, Harry, you could. If you could convince your pureblood lover to use a muggle way." She said with a smirk.

"Oh man! Can I be in there when you tell Ferret King!" Ron said with a grin and a loud laugh.

"Ron!" Harry cried out as he hit his best friend on the shoulder. They all laughed and Harry finally felt better than he had in a long time.

"Let's go. They are waiting for you." Hermione said as she helped him to stand.

"They?" Harry questioned in confusion.

"All those that follow you." Ron replied simply as he attempted to stand and not fall down.

"Me?" Harry's confusion grew. What the hell where they talking about?

"Yes, you." Hermione said firmly as she drew him to where they could remove their skates.

Harry sat down but refused to do anything else until they answered his questions. "What the hell are you both talking about?"

"All of the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs of our year. Most of the Slytherins, excluding Pansy, of course. Anyone that was in the DA. Professor's Snape, Sinistra, Trelawney, and Flitwick. Madam Pomfrey. My Mum and Dad. Brother's too. Couple of aurors, Moody, Tonks and Shaklebolt." Ron rattled off everyone from the Order but the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall as Harry sat there in astonishment.

"They are all waiting for you, along with Draco." Hermione said gently as she tied her shoes.

"Waiting for me to do what exactly? Die?" Harry sneered. This was ridiculous!

"No." Ron said his straightforward simple way. "To lead them."

Harry stilled as his eyes widened in astonishment. "Lead them?" He squeaked.

Ron started snickering at the look on Harry's face. Hermione giggled and soon both friends were laid out beside the stilled boy laughing loudly. Ron pulled Harry's skates off, still chuckling, and Hermione slipped his tennis shoes on with the biggest grin on her face. Harry still had not moved.

Ron pulled him up and shoved him towards the door with a snippy, "lover boy awaits."

Harry walked where they lead him and barely registered when Hermione said the portkey spell. His knees hit the floor of the room they landed in and seconds later his arms were filled with a thin shaking body.

"You bastard!" Draco breathed into his neck as his pale thin arms wrapped tightly around Harry's stilled body. "Don't ever leave me again!"

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered back as he wrapped his arms around the man who had changed his world and gave him the one reason to stay.

He had wanted a different option. He had prayed for one. He should have just asked his lover and his friends what to do. After all, they seemed to have everything under control.

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Well, just a little one shot that I wrote while watching the kiddies skate, though my one-shots tend to grow a little into multi-chaptered stories. I do so hope that you like.

ENJOY!

LMG


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